Queen Lizard: Spec-fic

Your mother is such a queen lizard it's ridiculous. I mean, for years we all thought she was a queen bee, buzzing around and bossing us all, but at least, you know, making little bees and encouraging the making of honey and doing necessary things for the hive. But really, your momma is a queen lizard, sitting on top of a pile of rancid meat and hissing at anybody who gets close. She doesn't even tend her eggs properly--I saw her out walking the other day, leaving her eggs at home, not even in a hot sandpit. It's amazing you even made it out of the shell, with a mother like her. I'm sorry, I just had to say something. And I saw her sniffing around our house--


Inspiration: This magnificent "your mom" shirthttp://shirt.woot.com/Friends.aspx?k=9521
Story Potential: Low.
Notes: It's not so much that this has no potential, as it is that I'm totally baffled by it. Dear brain--what?