An auto-responder saved the world. The good Congressman from Milwaukee, who had won his election campaign on his promise to communicate openly with all his constituents, was the one and only politician whose auto-responder promised that he would read and respond to all his mail within a week. And so the alien fleet jockeyed itself into position reversed thrusters on its asteroid storm, and waited. I suppose I say an auto-responder saved the world to make you laugh, since the story that follows is, as we all know, pretty grim. Really, I think it was the astrophysics engineering student who was interning at the Congressman's office since she was wavering about whether really, all along she'd just wanted to be a communications major, and did it really matter that she loved math when all her friends made fun of her for never going to any parties? She was on wacko patrol, reading through the emails and responding with form letters where possible, a quick note and a forward to the Congressman's next-tier-up aide where not, and a forward to the "potential crazies--save for police" folder where appropriate. She almost moved the alien invasion email--


Inspiration: Doing my morning email-processing. I used to be terrible about ever responding to anything, and I've made it a point to improve.
Story potential: Low.
Notes: I don't think this is a story in and of itself, but it could be a nice grace note.

Save up all your USDs to go to British University if you expect to be able to have a job in the future galactic. Yeah, I know, it wasn't what we were expecting. America is the biggest, loudest, best! Or China or India, because they're the most populous. Possibly the Netherlands because they're oh-so-socially-advanced. Some impoverished African country that's only a country on the maps, if they wanted to really take over an area. A polite, well-mannered country a bit past its prime, stuck on a tiny island, with a relatively small population, that has its own problems? Not so much. The only reason the galactics gave was that they "liked their attitude." Some of us figure that means they were really tickled by the Dr. Who series sent streaming out into the galaxy! Others think it's based on the colonial history of England, which is a much more sinister interpretation if you think of it. Of course, this announcement has prompted some ridiculous attempts at copying Everything British, as people try to figure out how to get on the galactics' good side.


Inspiration: "Prince Harry" - Sohodolls
Story Potential: Low.
Notes: But it is funny.

War isn't a game. War is a game of communication. Alien first contact isn't war, it's communication. Communication isn't a game. Communication is a war. War is a game. First contact is war. War is communication. Communication isn't war. Advance, retreat, charge, take prisoners, take no prisoners. Wear costumes from a dozen different alien races. It's a game, and the only score is the one of the opposing team, and if they win, we win.

Inspiration: Adventures in Publishing interview with Kij Johnson mentioning communication, the sound of fighting from the TV downstairs, thinking of games.
Story Potential: High?
Notes: This is bad, but the idea/mixed execution has some potential.

Takeoff on symbiote. Human intelligence augmented by computers considered sentient by aliens, but not without it. => What complications? Humans would have to keep computers with them at all times or would lose the rights of sentient beings. What if this is before symbiotic networks? Or widespread cybernetics? And if a virus destroys a computer, is the "sentient" entity dead? Must include equal courtesy to computer half of symbiote, included with ambassadorship. Humans abruptly non-sentient without their computers. Nature of humanity?
Keys: inferiority complex, respect, Munchhausen, identity crisis, phantom limb syndrome

This post brought to you by me getting my CONvergence-inspired ideas in the same place as the rest of them!

"The leaves are lanceolate in shape," he muttered into his recorder patch as he edged closer. "They appear to be silver in the atmospheric light, and the thermal detector picks up more than passive heat. They are in fact an animal life form, despite their appearance of foliage." The leaves rustled warningly when he took a step closer. He stopped. THough he was in an environment suit, he was smart enough to pay attention to his surroundings, and he'd noticed that no other leaves moved when these ones had. "The leaves have moved. This may be an attempt to communicate or to warn me off. I will not approach closer at this time.

Inspiration: "lanceolate" - shaped like a spearhead.
Story Potential: Low.
Notes: I do like the idea of opening a story with a scientist who doesn't automatically do the stupid thing and get killed.